When we travel with a team as a coach, staff, or player a good sense of humour is mandatory.  Over the past forty-five years of traveling with teams as a player, therapist and/or coach a few specific hilarious episodes occurred.

Marc's Story #1.  Ralph Mazzucco

In 1984 the Canadian Men's Olympic soccer team was invited to participate in China's coming out party.  China hosted a sixteen team tournament and they pulled out all the stops to impress their guests.  Canada played the first round of the tournament in Guangzhou (formerly the Canton).  During the third and final game of the round robin, one of the reserves, Ralph Mazzucco, kept whining about the bugs that were bothering him.  After putting up with it for a good thirty minutes, I finally told Ralph to just be quiet and deal with it.  All of a sudden we heard some yelling and squealing from the said player.

It turns out a bug was buzzing his ear, so he cupped his hand and hit the side of his head with it, attempting to knock the bug away. Unfortunately, by cupping his hand the pressure he created drove the bug into his ear canal.  Now the bug was stinging him in the ear.  I got a water bottle and poured the water into his ear.  The end result was a drowned, dead wasp in Ralph's ear.  I asked the Doctor if we could borrow his tweezers.  He had forgotten them and left them in Canada.  Due to the fact that we had to get back to the hotel and fly out early the next morning to Beijing, we told Ralph that we would take care of it in Beijing.

The next morning we boarded the plane and were not really expecting Ralph to yell as the plane gained altitude and increased the pressure in his ear.  After about three hours of torture, we landed.  As the rest of the team headed for the five star hotel, Ralph, the Doc and I headed to the hospital with our translator.  After waiting for a little while we saw a doctor approach us with a miner's headlight on.  He calmly looked into Ralph's ear, had a laugh and then s-l-o-w-l-y pulled the wasp out.  Ralph's eyes just bulged as the bug came out.  That picture was worth a thousand words. It was somewhat amusing for us, but it must have been a nightmare for Ralph.

Tony Waiters on Ralph Mazzucco

In 1983 I was awarded a contract by Totem Books (a subsidiary of Wm. Collins - now Harper Collins) to write my very first coaching manual.  Through Les Wilson, who was my assistant (Team Manager) with the Canadian Olympic and World Cup team, we arranged for a team of 16-year olds (Belaire Celtic) to provide the action for the photographs for the book.  One of the team was Ralph Mazzucco along with a number of other very good players including goalkeeper, Paul Dolan.  This was my very first look at Paul.  Three years later Paul became the youngest goalkeeper ever to play in the World Cup Finals (Mexico 86).

Ralph Mazzucco was a very skilful player and as you might guess with the career he has followed, he played in a creative midfield or attacking role.

Look at the photograph showing Ralph receiving the ball at Simon Frasier University soccer field in 1983.  If you look below at the other photograph of Ralph - to us, Raphael to his customers and clients - he doesn't look much different.  The hairstyle is the same; the face has the same look, with a little greater maturity, of course.

Marc Rizzardo's story about Ralph and the wasp really alarmed my wife, Anne.  She said if it happened to her she would go berserk.  Anne is allergic to certain insect stings and always carries around with her an EpiPen auto injector.

For more about Ralph Mazzucco click here to go to Wikipedia or for video on Ralphael click here. 

For Marc's 2nd and 3rd stories click on the links below.

Marc Rizzardo Escapades in China #2

Marc Rizzardo Escapades in China #3